Taking a shit in the Woods

I know I’m new;

and the title of this post probably scares you off right away;

but read on;

I had an epiphany yesterday….

So I went for a run yesterday and it was raining like a mo fo, so I was going at a reasonably good clip and there was hardly anybody else on the trail. And then one of the most annoying things…

Shit, shit, shit, crap I forgot to take a shit at home, crap!

Oh well, guess I’ll just go in the woods.

Point for trail running. You can take a crap on the side of the trail. Can’t really do that on the road now can you? Excuse me ma’am may I please take a dump on your lawn?

I digress. So I found a nice spot on the side of the trail, away from prying eyes should somebody come along, dug a little hole in the moss, dropped trow and popped a squat. And that’s when my epiphany came along. Not everyone can do this. In fact; this may well be a great measure of overall health of an individual. Can you take a shit in the woods? If you can’t your life probably isn’t quite up to par. If you can it probably means most of the following are true, and all coincidentally high determinants of health:

1. Physical leg strength to hold a squat

2. Capacity to relax enough to actually go in a squat

3. Physical/cardiovascular prowess to be able to get into the woods in the frst place

4. Decent living situation if you live close enough to a forest to do so

5. Environmental consciousness to cover your terd

6. Social consciousness to go off the trail far enough that someone doesn’t come upon you

7. Wilderness knowledge to dig a hole and cover it

8. Education on Foliage and local trees to not wipe with poison Ivy

What does the ability to take a poo in the woods mean to you? Leave your thoughts; I would love to hear them.